The Wedding Blessing

My best friends son is getting married today. They are a very sweet couple and I wish the very best for them.

The past few days have been filled with joy and laughter as friends and family have come together to make their day special.

So often in our quest to have the perfect wedding these days we have forgotten what makes it so perfect...people, love, laughter. These are the things that will help them during their marriage, not a perfect folded napkin.

As I now get ready for my daughters wedding my hope for her is that she too will feel and see the blessings of those who care so much about her.

wedding dreams

My mother always taught us how to make due. It wasn't that we couldn't have nice things we were just sometimes going to have to get creative on how we were going get them. This is why I was taught to sew by the time I was eight. If I wanted a new outfit... I had to make it. Or I would buy something at the thrift store and remake it to look like what I was dreaming of.

Mom grew up in a house with 12 kids during the depression and there was not going to be any whining from her kids about how they wanted something.

These talents are a family trait that I have taken for granted for years. We all do it, aunts, uncles,cousins, brother sister.. and then there are my daughters.

Daughter number one gets it, sometimes to the point of driving me crazy. And then there is daughter number two...

This daughter is my lawyer and loves nice things like coach purses and prada shoes...so image my concern when she announced that she was getting married.

How could I possibly afford to give her the wedding of her dreams?

But as a parent this has turned out to be one of my proudest moments...she is making her invitations and searching for bargins that would make her grandmother proud.

Who new that she had been paying attention all these years..she isn't going to settle..she knows what she wants and she knows hos to get it. See mama I taught her well.

What's in a name?

My daughter is getting married in a little over three months and I find myself stressing about the strangest things.

One of the first things that came to my mind and still enters it on a regular bases is....What will my son in law call me?

This may sound strange to you but it is very important to me. A name helps identify who you are. It tells people something about you when they hear it.

So what will my son in law call me? My dad called his mother in law Mrs Benson. I thought that sounded cold especially since my mom called her mother in law Mom. I have never known what to call my mother in law so I resort to Grandma Weed. My husband calls my mom Bonnie.

So here is what I know right now..I don't want to be called Mrs. Weed and I really don't want him to call me mom. Not that I would mind but I really don't want my daughter calling his mom mom so I don't think that would be good. Dianne works but I would like to come up with a more enduring name. Something that says that I am someone special to him...not just his mother in law.

I have asked him to think about what he wants to call me but I am sure he has other things on his mind. So here are some ideas I have

Mama D
Mama Weed
Mother in law dearest fairest of them all....just kidding

I think I'm leaning to Mama Weed...then maybe the grandkids could just call me this too. My husband could be papa Weed. This sounds friendly ..like someone you would want to go to when you need something. Like someone you would care about. I think this may be my name....It reminds me of the Bernstein Bears with Mama Bear and Papa Bear and who doesn't love that vision.

So what do you think a mother in law should be called...no wise cracks please.

The wedding bouquet

Years ago the bride would toss her wedding bouquet as she was leaving her wedding. This has always been a beautiful vision in my mind but when I got married brides had decided they didn't want to give up their bouquet so they would toss a throw away bouquet.

This sounded like a wonderful idea to me, so that is what I did. Then as the honeymoon progressed I proceeded to watch my flowers die. My new husband told me it was time to throw it in the trash. How could I? There had to be a better idea. So on the last night of our cruise we went up on deck and threw my beautiful bouquet overboard.

What did or are you planning to do with your wedding bouquet?

Recycling

Recycling is something that we all have become familiar with in the past ten years. Of course I recycle my water bottles and gather my papers and throw them in their special bin. Doesn't everyone?

But my parents and grandparents were recycling long before the garbage man handed us our recycle bins.

My grandfather was a preacher and as I look at the back of each of his neatly typed sermons I see that he didn't use typing paper. Why would you do that when the back of the power bill was blank? Each one of grandpa's sermons are like a glimpse of history. Want to know what the church insurance was in 1952, I'm sure I can find it.

Not only was paper treated with respect but heaven forbid if you though away a piece of foil or plastic sandwich bag. All you had to do was wash it and it would be ready
for tomorrows leftovers.

When I got married I was encouraged to carefully open each gift without ripping the paper then I went home and ironed each piece and every ribbon. I didn't have to buy wrapping paper for over a year.

No, we may think we recycle but we have along was to go. What have you recycled today?

For the love of a Son in Law

It was the perfect picture of love. My mother was having trouble eating and my husband got down on one knee and lovingly fed her each bite. This isn't the first time he has done such a thing. There was the time I said I was bringing mom home and he thought I meant to live at our house, so he just started to get things ready , no questions asked. There was also the time that he carried mom, soiled pants and all out of my car.





Yes the list goes on but it wasn't until that moment when I saw my husband on his knees serving his mother in law did I find myself wondering....will my son in laws love my daughters enough to love me?

Who to invite

My daughter is getting married in August and she wants to invite the whole world. I understand how she feels. The day I married her father I thought was the most important day in history. Who wouldn't want to be there?

I walked on to the asile and smiled ear to ear as I felt the love and exitment shared in the room. I remember my mother talking about her wedding and how there wasn't enough room in the church for everyone so they opened the windows so people could look in.

A marriage isn't about two people. It's about a community. People that will be there for you when things get hard. People that want the best for you and are willing to help make that happen.

So I will tell my daughter to invite everyone and I won't stress about it, I'll just be thankful that as she walks down to meet her groom she will feel the love and support of those special people in her life all around her....even if it means we eat spam.

The Bible

Growing up we had a Bible in every room. It was one of the first words I learned how to spell, thanks to the song..The B I B L E. It was quoted and referred to on a daily bases but yet I still find it a mystery.

Other people seem to be able to read the bible and find comfort and I suppose at times I do to, but for the most part it gets my mind racing in many different directions.

Such as...I was reading Joshua 13 and God said "Joshua, you are very old" Now my question is ..How old do you have to be for God to think you are old? And how depressed did this make Joshua? I get depressed when my kids think I'm old, let alone God...And another thing...if I was to hear God speak I think I would want to hear...Well done good and faithful servant, not you are VERY old.

Poor Joshua, guess I will put him on my list of people to talk to when I get to heaven

Bed Bugs

I have a curse that has been given to me, and over the years I have blamed many people for it. I go to sleep just fine, but some time between the hours of 2am and 4am my eyes pop open and my mind starts racing.

For years I have blamed my heritage. I come from a long line of worriers and so I have just seen it as my destiny.

As my children grew, I blamed it on them. They seemed to be the ones I worried about the most so it only stands to reason that they are to blame. Now, after hours of therapy I realize it is all my mother's fault....are you shocked?

Oh, I have a wonderful mother. One that would do anything for me. When I was young she would lovingly say prayers with me and kiss me and tuck me into bed. Then right before she would shut the door she would say in the sweetest voice....

"Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite."

Now if you don't believe I have reason to think my mother must have some deep underlying feelings for me, I ask you...next time your husband makes you mad during the day don't yell, just wait. Then right before he closes his eyes say....."Oh did I tell you about all the spiders I found in the bed this morning when I made it? Never mind, I'll tell you about it in the morning, good night."

Yep, I'm convinced mom was all about revenge.

Row Row Row your Boat

Neither my mother or I have ever been known for our athletic adventures. We are both people that like to encourage others to do it, and are happy watching. For some reason one day my mother and I decided to climb into a row boat and explore the lake that wondered thru the neighborhood.

It was a beautiful day and we had a great time. Then my mother in her wisdom said that we should turn around and head home. Well the wind was no longer going along with us and we soon found out that we hadn't really been rowing at all, until now...

We were rowing, and it was hard. We didn't know if we were going to make it.

As I have hit mid life I think about how much harder the second half of our journey was in that boat that day and how we wanted to give up at times but we couldn't. We made it by working together, encouraging each other , and laughing a lot.

The storms of life make it hard to move forward sometimes and yet thanks to my mom and a little boat I know now how to get thru.

Fuzzy Slippers

When I was a kid my grandmother use to come visit us once a year. She would sleep in my room and put her teeth in a glass on the table between the beds. Sharing a room with her was not something I can say I enjoyed but I did love it when she came. Every year she would bring us a new pair of slippers that she had knitted for us. My brother and I would put them on and rush to the basement where we would spend hours "skating" in our slippers.

I never really liked the slippers for their intended use. I thought they looked funny, thinking back they must have looked even funnier on my brother. But mom would tell us to be thankful.

I didn't think about the slippers for many years then one day my aunt mailed me a pair. The smile that came to my face was bigger than I'm sure my grandmother ever saw when she gave me them. See, now I get what mom meant by being thankful...it wasn't about the slippers ..it was about being loved...

I wear the slippers proudly now..even though my children laugh at them. Maybe someday when I'm gone and they are cleaning out my things, one of them will slip on my slippers and they too will understand that love never ends.